I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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