please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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