the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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