i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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