Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize