You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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