never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No...this little piggys going to the bar
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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