I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
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Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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