Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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