the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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