i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize