Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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