I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize