Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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