Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Redeem this text for a blowjob
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize