Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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