you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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