Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize