my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize