Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize