Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize