Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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