I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize