don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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