Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize