There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
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The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
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I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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