just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize