Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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