It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize