it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
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I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
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it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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