I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Randomize