So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize