I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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