yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
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He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
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He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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