My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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