He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize