btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think my fart just growled at me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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