think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize