I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
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someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
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I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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