Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize