Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize