ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize