If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize