we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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