I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
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I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
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I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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