just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
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He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
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I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The adults are the big ones right?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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