my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize