i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize