If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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