Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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